Flow of Memories
by Setsuna-X
Summary: Shido manages to escape Cain’s clutches, but will he return to the arms of his lover or try to break free from bloodfilled chains?
1. Prelude

"**Flow of Memories"  
**_by: Setsuna X_

**Summary: **Shido manages to escape Cain's clutches, but will he return to the arms of his lover or try to break free from blood-filled chains?  
**Warning**- Mentions of blood and gore; previous boy x boy relations (_will change each chapter_)  
**Disclaimer: **Nightwalker and its characters do not belong to me and I receive no royalties from this fan fiction.

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****Prelude- Beginnings ****

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****-Shido's POV-**

I just escaped Cain's castle. I admit it was tough and a part of me thinks that it would have been better if I had just stayed where I was, but that cannot be anymore. I stopped loving Cain once my sister jumped off the church tower after being revived as a vampire by me.

After being turned because of Cain we had both gone into a feeding frenzy. We attacked everyone within our reach and hunted down those who dared to run. None escaped our fangs. After returning from our feeding we proceeded to take our prisoners back to the master bedroom we shared. There we continued to explore the unimaginable ecstasy from the warm blood trickling down our throats. We made love atop a bed scattered with corpses and sheets soaked with blood.

The blood itself was invigorating and provided us with much stamina and energy. I remember Cain's hot hands as they explored all over my body. He touched all my erogenous zones, making me moan loudly with deep pleasure, one intensified by the human blood in my veins that I had claimed earlier. Cain knew what to do and where to do it on my body to make me shiver with repressed pleasure and where to make me cry out for more.

I used to love his touches. Used to crave his deep kisses and sweet voice. His hands roaming over my body as he whispered sweet words into my ear.

Even now just thinking about all the times we shared together, his hot skin pressed up against mine and his lips kissing my body, makes me so aroused. I could never truly escape him. He is my Master Vampire. The one who made me what I am; he is the father of my rebirth into the night and his hands will always reach me. That doesn't mean that I can't try to run and escape his clutches.

These feelings of days past make me love him once again, despite the sins he made me commit, but those feelings are slowly dwindling. He is the one who turned me into a vampire. He's the one who made me stain my hands with blood; made me crave the sweet, crimson liquid. Those facts overwhelm my body's need for his touch and love and so I take my leave of him.

Now as I walk my way westward, away from his towering and looming castle, my feet hit the dirt path lightly. I know that it is simply an extra precaution, and unnessary one at that, but I can't help but be extra careful with my steps. Cain is a powerful vampire and I don't even know the true extent of his powers, so I cannot step so hard on the ground lest he hear my foot falls.

I follow the moon onto a new life for myself. One away from Cain and on to forge new memories of eternity by myself. I had no real possessions with me; everything I carried was something that I received from Cain. I had managed to steal way a cloak and a blanket, plus the clothes on my back, but that's all I carried. The only thing else would be the black, silk ribbon that was holding my hair in a soft ponytail. My lavender-silver hair moved slightly in the wind. This ribbon was something special. Something, now that I thought about it, I should have left behind.

It was a love-gift from Cain. It was the first thing he presented me with once I became a vampire and I had cherished it ever since that day long ago. I should just yank the ribbon from my hair and throw it to the dirt ground, but I somehow cannot bring myself to do it.

It will forever be a tie between Cain and myself, something I should wish to rid of, but I can't; it's a part of who I am and it lets me cling slightly to the only memory I have of myself. All my other memories lie with Cain.

_TBC_

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**A/N: **This is just a story that I happened to have in my head for a long time and finally got around to typing it out. This will defiantly _not_ be updated regularly and is mainly being posted for my own amusement. I have two more chapters written out already, but I'm mostly making this up as I go along. Despite that, I hope people still read and like this. Thanks.


	2. Meeting up again

"**Flow of Memories"  
**_by: Setsuna X_

**Summary: **Shido manages to escape Cain's clutches, but will he return to the arms of his lover or try to break free from blood-filled chains?  
**Warning**- Mentions of blood and gore (_will change each chapter_)  
**Disclaimer: **Nightwalker and its characters do not belong to me and I receive no royalties from this fan fiction.

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Chapter 1 – Meeting Up Again****

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**-3 months later; Shido's POV-**

Several months have passed and truly, I lost count of the days. I adopted a routine to survive day by day. I would only travel by moonlight, seeing as I am still not strong enough to travel through small amounts of sunlight. The sun's harsh glares hurt intensely at the moment. I know that if I had stayed with Cain longer that I would have been able to develop my powers better, but I just couldn't stay there anymore. I don't even know how far Cain's powers extend, nor how old of a vampire he is. All I know is that he chose me to be his childe and that he is able to walk in broad daylight without fear, and my natural instincts tell me that he is truly more powerful than I am.

I continue to trudge my way through the dirt roads and my body is beginning to feel weaker. I've vowed that I would only feed when I need to. I constantly starve myself so I would not kill any innocents. But after two weeks of hunger my body is beginning to weaken and this road seems hidden and I don't see any victims. I hate feeling this weakness, this inability to curve my hunger and simply never have to drink blood again.

A wave of dizziness suddenly hits me and I feel my body slowly leaning towards the ground. Suddenly I feel colder than usual and the already dark sky becomes darker.

**(x)**

'_What is this? Red..there's red everywhere!' _thinks Shido. '_It's so thick, and the smell…it's so familiar. Like copper and it's so warm..wait this is _blood!_ I'm emerged in blood? How can this be…? The last thing I remember is collapsing on the road.'_

"Shido, come back to me," says a familiar and not-so-welcomed voice.

"What? Whos' there?" I call back as I slowly open my eyes. I feel as I'm lying down on a couch. I can hear what seems like a crackling fire near by. In front of my eyes is a coffee table, drenched in a red, thick liquid. I quickly sit up and peer at the objects on the table and the scene there makes me sick to my stomach. Off in the shadows I can feel someone's eyes piercing me. On the table there was a body of what seemed a middle aged man with the limbs strewn everywhere. Warm blood trickled off the edge of the wooden table. I think that I might have caught something in my throat with that carnage because breathing seems so hard at the moment.

"So you have finally awoke, Shido," said that booming low voice from before. I tear my eyes from the sprawled limbs, trying to keep the overwhelming smell of fresh blood out of my mind. My eyes ghost over to the location of the looming figure with the sensual voice. The figure escapes the grasp of the dark shadows and steps into the warmth and light of the crackling fire.

"Cain!" I hiss. I thought that I had escaped his clutches by now, why has he decided to turn up after all these months. Although, for a vampire the time might not have really seemed that long. "What are you doing here? Where am I?" I demand, unable to keep the shock from my voice.

"Tsk tsk tsk," Cain taunts. "I think you should begin your rant with a 'thank you', Shido."

"And why is that?!" I question vehemently without missing a beat.

"Don't you remember your little collapse on the dirt road? Shido, I brought you back to your senses," Cain responded, motioning to the coffee table with the dead body sprawled across it, the fingers dangling off the edge.

"Why did you kill him? What has this human ever done to you?" I demand, trying to keep the shaking out of my voice.

"How else was I to revive you without getting any human blood into your body? You seemed quite thirsty by the way you gulped it down," chuckled Cain, clearly amused by my shocked and disgusted face. "Why are you so disgusted? This is nothing new, Shido. You and I have hunted humans together. Remember those days in Transylvania? All the love we shared?" asked Cain sensually, his voice laced with lust.

"Sh-shut up!" I shout as I stood. A sudden wave of dizziness hits me and I moan in pain as I clench my head an sit back down onto the love-seat couch.

"You still haven't recovered, Shido. Here, take this and drink," said Cain, somewhat smugly as he handed me a wine glass half filled with an intense red. I looked at him searchingly. The glass only contained blood. Drinking it was nothing new to me.

'I don't think that Cain would do this to hurt me on purpose, besides the man was already dead so the blood would go to waste if I don't take it' I reason with myself. Against my morals and my quench for human blood, not to mention my body's actual need for it, I slowly and tentively reach over and take the glass from Cain. Cain purposely lets his fingers lightly graze over mine as he hands me the cup.

The briefest of touches, however, sent such an electrifying shock to course through my body. That simple touch brought swarms of memories with Cain. Our lovemaking and intimate positions. I gulp down the blood hungrily and swiftly, wasting no time in savoring its sweet, coppery taste. I could feel the blood trickle down my throat, renewing my body with strength.

I could also feel Cain's stare, his eyes looking at me intently. They rove all over my body, causing my breath to hitch. Now that I'm fully replenished I figured it was time to take my leave and so stand up again, this time without the dizziness. Instead of saying a mere 'thank you' to mu supposed savior I just hold my head high and stride out the door. Before I could completely leave the shack that had been occupying us for a while I hear Cain's parting words.

"_I'm still waiting for you to return to me, Shido."_

As soon as the cold air hits my heated skin a wash of relief washes over me. I'm so grateful that I was able to elude Cain once again. 'Although I hate to admit it, Cain saved my life,' I thought to myself, 'then again, it was Cain's fault in the first place that I needed the saving.'

_TBC**  
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**A/N: **Yay! The first chapter is typed up. Not much happened plot-wise I admit, but I thought that a reunion would be worth typing; gives Shido something to think about. I've been out of the fanfiction world for a while now and I'm more into reading FF than writing it at the moment, so updates are going to be slow at best. I really want to finish all the stories I've begun, so at least those will be completed eventually, so no worries about a story going on a permanent hiatus. Anyway, thanks to everyone who read and especially to my reviewer: **purerose! **Please continue to read everyone.


	3. A New Friend

"**Flow of Memories"  
**_By: Setsuna-X_

**Summary: **Shido manages to escape Cain's clutches, but will he return to the arms of his lover or try to break free from blood-filled chains?  
**Warning:** consented mutilation(?) and mentions of blood (_will change each chapter_)  
**Disclaimer: **Nightwalker and its characters don't belong to me. If it did I would make sure the anime would be conclusive (with a CainxShido pairing)  
**Note(s):** Please ignore tense shifts/changes

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Chapter 2 –**_A New Friend_

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-Three weeks later; Shido's POV-**

The days come and go and I find myself in another small town. The sun seems to be setting soon. I think it's about time to find a place to stay for the night. I'm getting hungry as well. I haven't had any human blood since that time with Cain and I'd rather not see him if I don't have to. I can feel my body growing weaker as I reach the outskirts of town.

"Hey, are you okay? You look pale," says some villager.

"Yes, I'm fine, just a little tired and dizzy. Can you help me?" I respond.

"Of course, come this way. Here, put your arm over my shoulder…there we go" he says. He has no idea in what he has gotten himself into. He lays me upon a worn out couch in front of a roaring fire. The little house we walked to seems to be on the outskirts of the town, away from neighbors. No one else is around for a good 3 miles. If he screamed it would be enveloped by the night.

But this villager, this man, has saved me from the bitter cold air outside. Although I would not get sick or really all that cold, being indoors provides me safety, especially if I were to have passed out again.

Would it be bad to drink his blood now? After he helped me?

_But…the need.. the want..it's so strong…_

**End Shido POV; Third Person POV**

"Mister, are you okay? You look so clammy and pale," said the villager, worried about his newly acquired house guest.

"Blood…need blood…"groaned out Shido, his vampire side taking over.

"Blood?" questioned the villager, his face marred with confusion—then recognition and horror. The stranger he had picked up was a vampire and he was going to kill him for his blood!

"Stay back Vampire!" screamed the man, wide-eyed and searching for something to attack the vampire with. 'The vampire seems weak, so it shouldn't be too hard to overpower him,' reasoned the man.

Shido stood from his place on the couch and was a head taller than the man so it was easy to loom over him, but when the man looked up, expecting an evil grin on the vampires pale face he noticed, with a twist in his gut, that the vampire looked pale and sick, not powerful and menacing.

He took pity on the poor display. The vampire's hair was long and raggedy, as if it had not been washed and combed in weeks. His clothing was rumpled and cloth was missing in different patches. His eyes held no real spark of life (as if they had any to begin with), they looked dull and full of pain. Anger soon disappeared and pity took its place.

Shido swayed on his feet and too weak to look intimidating. He knew that if he didn't the villager would have no reason to give him his human blood.

The sight of a starved vampire trying to look menacing, but only managing a cute pout was too much for the villager to take. A small grin slowly spread across his face.

Shido's vision was too blurry to see anything and he just envisioned a frightened look on the villager's face.

"Look here, vampire," began the villager, Shido's ears perking up, "I'm not afraid of you. You look as dangerous as a fruit fly and pretending you're vicious will get you no where."

Shido didn't know what to respond to that so he just nodded his head slowly.

"Now see here, you look mighty pathetic there and you're lucky that I pity you, so here, you can take some of my blood."

At the word 'blood' Shido shivered, but a grin crossed his face, anticipating the salty tasting liquid to quench his thirst. The villager walked over to his kitchen and grabbed a cup and knife. He slowly cut along his arm, wincing and biting his lip at the pain he felt. Filling the cup about one-sixth full he walked over to his bathroom and bandaged his arm as best as he could with one hand. The smell of blood was so intoxicating to Shido that his mouth practically watered. The villager came back into the living room where he had left the vampire.

"Here's that blood," the villager said, thrusting the cup of blood into Shido's face.

Shido's eyes had glossed over by the heavy want and need for blood, several seconds later he snapped out of his trance and practically yanked the cup from the man's hands. He peered into the cup in disappointment. He knew that this little batch of blood would not satisfy his urge, but it was better than none. With that reasoning he gulped down the slightly warm blood, savoring it as it glided down his throat. His thirst was subsided, but far from being quenched. He needed more blood, but he couldn't kill this man.

Sure, his strength had returned and his vision was no longer blurry, but sharp and ready, yet could he really kill this man? Saved from being ravaged by wild dogs out in the blistering cold and he really wouldn't be able to defend himself since he was so weak without human blood. The man had willingly harmed himself in order to save Shido—he couldn't kill the human now.

If he had a human heart as he liked to believe Shido would not be able to do such a horrendous thing to someone who showed such kindness. He could not slaughter this mane (or any man, for that matter) with a good conscience.

"Thank you," rasped out Shido, tilting his head in gratitude. The villager let out a breath he was unaware of holding.

"No problem." If anyone told him that he would be saying 'no problem' to a vampire today after willingly giving him some of his blood he would have referred them over to the loony bin.

Shido let out a tentative smile and introduced himself. "Call me 'Shido', please," he added as he put out his hand. The man looked stunned. Although he concluded that the vampire was not deadly that didn't mean that he thought he would be this polite.

"Hello there, my name is Matsudai Sou. You can call me 'Matsu', if you'd like," said the human as he shook Shido's hand.

"Thanks for helping me out from the cold and for my lack of, er, _drink_. I promise I won't hurt you."

Matsu accepted his thanks before he beckoned Shido to take a seat while he went to go make some tea. "So, where ya headed?" asked Matsu. He returned to the living room with a plate full of biscuits as well as the tea. He decided on bringing the biscuits as well, noticing with surprise how late it already was.

"No where really," responded Shido after taking a sip from the hot liquid. "I'm more like running away than anything." Matsu gave him a confused look. Shido let out a long sigh as he leaned back into his own arm chair wearily.

"My lover turned me into a vampire and we had both gone around the town we were living at and viciously slaughtered the townspeople for a bit of fun and without any remorse. One night, however, without even realizing it, since I was drenched in blood thirst, I killed my own mother and sister." Shido looked into the fire with a detached look on his face. He failed to notice the scared and anger-filled expressions on Matsu's face.

"When I told Cain, my lover, that I no longer wanted to attack humans he laughed at me, saying 'humans are no more than cattle—you can have as many as you desire'. I didn't, still don't, share his views and decided to leave everything behind. I packed some clothes and headed out as soon as I knew he could not hear me. I walked as far as I could to get away from him. It has been only three short months since I last saw him."

Matsu listened to the story intently. It wasn't everyday that he got to hear a first account on a vampire's life.

"I last saw him only a three weeks ago, when he had to save me, much like how you're doing right now. I refuse to drink a humans blood and only do so when it is extremely necessary. That's why you found me in such poor condition. It had been a week or so since my last feeding, but I feel as if I keep pushing against my limits then I could extend that time period. Regardless, I still have to drink human blood, often leading to the death of my unfortunate victim," said Shido wearily and with a heavy heart.

Matsu, to say the least, was struck dumb, but managed to recover quickly enough. He wondered just how old the vampire was. He looked no older than 23 years old. But when he spoke of his hardships and his constant battle against his very nature his weariness made him seem much more than his years.

"Look," began Matsu as he rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous manner. 'I can't believe I'm about to do this.'

"It's late and I'm sure we could both use a good night's rest. Why don't you sleep out here on the couch and we could talk more in the morning," he stated rather than asked. Before Shido could even form a protest he walked out and headed to his bedroom. Shido let out another heavy sigh. How many was that already this night? He had lost count.

'Should I even be here?' he thought to himself but laid on the couch nonetheless.

_TBC_

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A/N: **Urgh, chapter finally up. I haven't even written anything out further than this, so anything new posted (whenever that would be) will be fresh outta my mind and onto a Microsoft Word document. Thanks for reading and for waiting for this chapter. Special thanks, as always, goes out to my reviewers!

**Irene Sharda- **Haha, believe me, I want these two to be together… getting them to realize that is the hard part. Thanks for reading and for your review


	4. So What Now?

"**Flow of Memories"**_  
By: Setsuna-X_

**Summary: **Shido manages to escape Cain's clutches, but will he return to the arms of his lover or try to break free from blood-filled chains?**  
Warning:** none(_will change each chapter_)**  
Disclaimer: **Nightwalker and its characters belong to me. If it did I would make sure the anime would be conclusive (with a CainxShido pairing)

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Chapter 3 – **_So What Now?  
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Shido awoke to a cold room. The embers in the fire place sputtered and tried to stay alive, but there was no wood left to burn. Slowly he got up and stretched his aching muscles. It was the best sleep he had gotten in a long while, which wasn't much a surprise since he had taken to camping outdoors often. He felt his strength slowly returning and was really grateful to Matsu for the man had probably saved his _un-_life. But what was he to do now?

Could he really keep on traveling and try to escape Cain? If anything the other vampire had already proved that escaping was futile. Only after three months was the man able to find him. Shido wasn't sure if he was pathetic at covering up his tracks or if Cain was simply that adept at finding him. Both were scary thoughts and neither helped calm Shido down.

And what of Matsu? He wished he could do something to repay the human for his kindness, but there really wasn't anything he could offer in return. If he had riches he would bestow them upon the generous human, but he had nothing except the clothes on his back.

Before Shido could continue he heard some signs of Matsu's awakening in the next room. It didn't look terribly early in the day. The sun had already risen and was already nearing it's height in the sky.

"Good morning," said Matsu as he entered the living room. He was actually quite surprised the that vampire hadn't snuck out in the middle of the night. It wasn't as if he wanted to kick the vampire out, if anything he had to admit that he was the most interesting house guest he has had in a long time.

"Good morning," responded Shido as he stood from his place on the couch. "I'm sorry to have imposed the night before."

"Nonsense, nonsense. I was the one that insisted you stay the night. I was pleasantly surprised that you had. Now come and join me for some breakfast," said Matsu without missing a beat and already making his way into the kitchen.

Shido was left speechless, but followed behind the shorter, stockier man before him.

After some tea and some left over biscuits the two men returned to the living room. It was a heavy atmosphere they returned to and neither knew how to break it. They stared at each other, or at the dying embers, deep in thought. Finally tired of the dancing around, Matsu spoke up.

"Listen. I helped you out last night, but what I'm left wondering is what you're planning on doing from this day forth. Call it curiosity, but maybe I can help out as well."

"I-I thank you for last night," managed Shido, "but I really could not ask you for more. I also really do not know what I should be doing at the moment either. At first I thought that it would be easy to escape Cain and be able to live freely and by myself, but I can see that that it is not the case anymore. Cain is able to track me wherever I go. I don't know how he does it, but I think it has to do with the fact that he is my Master Vampire, my Creator," finished of Shido solemnly.

Matsu listened and tried to figure out something. He wasn't so sure why he wanted to help this vampire, especially since the man had confessed that he has indeed killed many people in order to feed from them, but there was just something about him that drew him in. Besides, living in this small town with nothing to do but just work for his own food was getting a bit repetitive. It was boring just surviving instead of living and he figured that sticking with the vampire, ironically, might bring back the spark of life into him.

"You don't have to thank me so much. And you know what, I think you should go back to wherever you came from and kill that Master Vampire of yours," finished off Matsu proudly.

Shido could only look at him in shock. Kill…Cain…? Was it even possible? Shido wasn't even sure how old the blonde vampire was, only that he was already incredibly powerful.

"I don't think I can kill him."

"Sure you can. Just do what those old wives tales say to do. Get some garlic and a wooden stake. I'm sure that if you regain your proper strength you'll be able to beat him in a fight."

Shido had to admit that Matsu had a good point, but did he really want to kill Cain? The thought had genuinely never crossed his mind before. He blamed Cain for the death of his mother and sister, even blamed him for becoming a vampire and in turn murdering a lot of innocent people, but did the blonde vampire deserve death? If Shido thought about it rationally he had to admit that he didn't really want to kill Cain. He loved the blonde vampire. But what if that was the only way to escape? What if killing Cain could free him from the Vampire Curse? It might not be able to bring back everyone that had died by his hands, but it would help prevent another innocent life from being taken.

It was a sound idea, but would it work?

"I'm still not sure, but you are right. I have to do something or else Cain will continue to haunt and trail after me for the rest of my life. I don't think I'll be able to kill him, but at least it gives me a new purpose."

"That's the spirit," cheered Matsu, "and I'll go with you!"

Shido whipped his head around and stared at the weaker human. "You can't possibly go with me!"

"And why not?" petulantly questioned Matsu as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Ah, well, because this isn't your problem!" shouted Shido. "I can't possibly place you in danger like that."

"Well I'm sorry to say that you won't be able to convince me otherwise. I am set on going with you. Also, this way you have a steady stream of human blood to eat so you won't become weakened."

Shido could only look at the human with wide eyes. Was this man serious?

"Why are you risking your life for this? It is not worth it."

"I think I can decide for myself what exactly my life is worth, if you don't mind, Shido," answered Matsu with a glare.

Shido stared at the human with something akin to incredulity in his eyes. He just couldn't understand why this man, whom he just met, would be willing to place his life on the line like this. Hell, the man was even offering him his blood!

"Well, when you put it that way, Matsu…" trailed off Shido, unsure as to what to really say anymore.

"It's settled then. We'll spend the rest of today gathering all the proper traveling supplies and head out bright and early tomorrow. You should spend some of the traveling time training yourself to fight this Cain fellow. If you think he's powerful then you have to be ready."

Shido nodded. "And what do you gain from all this, Matsu? I'm sure this isn't just a simple road trip to you."

"Shows how little you know, doesn't it, Mr. Vampire. That is exactly what it is for me. If it'll put your mind at ease then I'll tell you." Shido waited expectantly.

"I have lived day to day my whole life; gathering food and firewood to last me the day and repeating the process over and over. Frankly I'm sick of it and this seems like a grand adventure. Besides, against all odds I have taken a liking to you," finished off Matsu as he grinned good-naturedly at Shido.

The teal-eyed vampire could only nod at Matsu. It seemed the man knew what he wanted and if Shido actually expected to make it all the way back to Cain he would also need a food source. It seemed that there was no point in fighting it any longer so Shido said the only words he knew were appropriate at the moment.

"Thank you."

_TBC_

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A/N: **Okay, an update, w00t. This however will be short lived. I figured I should start writing my stories again, but I'm not positive on any of the update dates. Don't hold your breath now, but I am glad to finally be moving forward with these. Thanks to everyone who is reading and has read this story – it is much appreciated.

_Last Updated: 04-15-2008_


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